You Know You're Writing a Dissertation When

...or 10 "things" I've decided are "okay" by me

10. You step out of the shower, reach to grab your towel, and suddenly remember that towels don't wash themselves

9. You realize that your SO knows better than to even bother to reach for a towel

8. The division of duties in your household is no longer "divided" (unless, of course, dissertation writing counts the same as laundry, shopping, cooking, cleaning, dishes, vacuuming, sweeping, feeding the animals, taking out the trash, yard work, walking the dog, etc...). And you're okay with that

7. You can no longer hold an intelligent conversation -- with anyone -- that does not include the words "dialogism," "superaddressee," "deliberative discourse," or "iDrive" -- and you're okay with that

6. You obsessively back-up your dissertation on your laptop, your PC, your neighbor's PC, your SO's laptop, your school computer, thirteen jump drives, and fifteen discs... and you still pay $50 to have iDrive intrusively back up your computer up every 2 minutes

5. You drag out the "Thighmaster," because you realize you CAN "exercise" and still write!

4. You own a Thighmaster... and you're okay with that

3. Your SO wasn't shocked or appalled to discover that, in the event of a fire, or similar cataclysmic event, the "one item" you'd grab wouldn't be a cherished family heirloom, wedding pics, or even the cat; you'd grab your dissertation

2. In moments of tragic worry that you'll never finish this damn book, you calm yourself with the realization that if you died unexpectedly before your defense, you've already written enough that they would probably go ahead and give you the Ph.D., in memoriam, anyway -- and you're okay with that.

1. You set the kitchen on fire, and no one is even surprised.

--DONNA