So, I went to Atlanta this weekend to present my paper on a panel on autism and the Humanities. A very interesting conference and my brain is literally throbbing from the copious amounts of information that I'm still trying to process. I felt what could only be described as "paper envy," a close relative of "penis envy" or "dissertation envy" (see Donna's last blog). I didn't know how many pages to submit since we were only presenting our research for 10 minutes and our entire papers were published online (a method I highly recommend--it was great to read the papers before rather than attempt to focus on a 20 minute reading to get the "gist").
So, I submitted 13 pages of what could only be describes as the first 13 pages of my dissertation. Lots of work still to do. But, a good start.
Others' papers: 40 pages, 30 pages, 25. Some were chapters from dissertations. Fleshed out, developed, polished chapters from dissertations. I felt a surge of panic riding the MARTA to the hotel--"I don't think my paper's good enough." And, that's not a good feeling to go into a conference with. I couldn't quite shake it and I did, probably too much, posturing all weekend. And, I kept hearing Dr. Greer's voice in my head: "How is what you're saying any different than what these people are saying here? How is what you're saying anything new?"
Still, the conference was a great experience, and I do have a clearer understanding of what I'm going to do in my dissertation. Dr. T was concerned that my dissertation wasn't focused enough and I think I'm starting to see how exactly I'm going to do to narrow my focus. A really great feeling. (I posted more about this on my personal dissertation blog.) I'm ready to start writing again. So, this week it's on. Besides, my little "word count meter" is so sad and pathetic looking.
ROCHELLE
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3 comments:
You know, T J and I had an interesting discussion over coffee last night... about the "weirdness" of presenting at conferences (re: MLA) that were so focused on literature (or at the very least, focused on traditional methods of analyzing our complex world).
It's funny though -- what's more traditional than Rhetoric?? Hello! Durh - It's been around for 3000 years! Rhetorical analysis, it could be argued (though by someone braver than me), pre-dates LITERARY analysis...
You and T J had similar experiences this weeked - presenting on non-traditionally focused panels at a traditionally focused conference, and yet you both seemed to be faced with the need to be heteroglossic in your approaches - that is, you slid into a kind of defensive mode, at least in some respects, all in order to assuage the negativity associated with big, bad, EVIL Rhetoric.
I think it is no coincidence that you were both at MLA section conferences. I really just do not get the need so many people have to divide rhetorical from literary analysis. It seems to me that they go hand in hand... it's like people who claim that political isn't personal. Um - what???? I can only wish...
Nice post (on BOTH sites!).
Now get writing, missy! You have a meter to update!!
DONNA
I want you to both know that I am here...reading, uh..writing, and in grading jail. The research papers of the semester were turned in yesterday and are looming over everything I do. Congrats on the conference Rochelle. I think talking about the project is sometimes worth more than anything else...that's why I'm paying for a therapist ;)
Donna, your poignant blog about your friend's dad and your own loss made my heart sad. I get it.
I don't know how to make my word meter work...almost a phd and can't figure it out! Something's wrong with this picture.
The cool site meter "told" me we had a "lurker" in Wichita Falls! (heehee - I KNEW it was you!!). We feel your grading pain too. I mean, doesn't it sometimes make you wonder how ANYONE (that is -- anyone who has to have a real job -- ahem, or TWO) ever, EVER manages to write a freakin' dissertation???
Good grief -- as if taking classes AND TEACHING classes weren't difficult enough, now we have to create some (lengthy and cohesive) ORIGINAL scholarship - all in the midst of reading and grading FRESHMEN papers?!?!?!?
In the infamous words of the ubiqutious Ricky Bobby, "help me sweet baby Jesus; help me Tom Cruise!" Anyway, thanks for the kudos - it means a lot.
As for the PhD proof word meters? Rochelle has had the same problem, and we have vowed to play with ya'll's site admin privileges tomorrow (which is when we're together in our office next). Meanwhile, you can email me your count (I promise to use my powers for good), and I'll update it all for us tonight. Rochelle's gonna do that as well... at least until we figure it all out.
Cheers! Keep on writing, because EVERY word gets you one step closer to DONE!
DONNA
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